Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My Bloody Valentine 3D Hardcore Movie Review

By Tim Beachum

Finally 3D done right! The 3D in this movie was so real that I had to give this movie a high five and a slap in the face! No doubt my friend filmmaking has finally reached the next level. I have pretty much built my reputation on my no holds bared style of reviewing. The big machine that we lovingly call Hollywood has been cranking out crap after piece of crap for a long time. I cant tell you how happy I am to see that someone in tinsel town got it right.

Every since the very first blind date, horror and romance have been intertwined like Keanu Reeves and bad acting. As most of you know My Bloody Valentine is a remake. In most instances a remake is a huge mistake and you are left wanting to shoot the bastard that came up with the idea to remake the movie in the first place.

Defiantly not the case with My Bloody Valentine 3D. Finally I am glad to report that the filmmakers have actually knocked this puppy out of the movie screen and right into your lap.

Be prepared " once the words, Put On Your 3D Glasses appears on the screen the shit is going to hit the fan. Its on after that point. You will be engulfed by huge balls of fire coming so close to your face that you will be able to feel the heat. Not to mention the pickaxes, and flying bullets that will be coming your way.

Im not by any stretch of the imagination saying that the 3D is perfect. There are obvious times where the 3D seems a bit gimmicky because the story forces its occurrence of projectiles. However the majority of the times the 3D is spot on.

As most of you know nudity and horror movies go together like Britney Spears and cupcakes. However with most horror films you only get what I like to refer to as peek-a-boo nudity. Now you see it, now you dont. Not with My Bloody Valentine 3D baby! You get the full on all out breast in your face nudity. Actually you get way more than that, BUT I am trying to keep this site as clean as I possibly can.

I do have a few questions that I would like to direct to those with the knowledge to answer them. Does the distribution companies plan on releasing My Bloody Valentine on DVD? Will the 3D effects still look as good on a regular television? Would you be able to still use the glasses that you should have held on to from the movie theater? Im sure that I could come up with some more, BUT those will do for starters.

Ok its time that I take the gloves off! Lets get down to the real matter at hand To bootleg or not to bootleg that is the question that my readers want to know. I must say NO WAY HOMIE! This bootleg is worth the price of admission. In fact I think that we should all get a discount or at least an apology from movie theaters for over charging us for all of the other crap movies. I doubt if anything happens, it is just a suggestion.

While Im no the subject of bootlegging I want to share something that I found a little funny. The studios have been boasting that this new 3D technology will eliminate bootlegging all together. Some guy from Real D (the company behind the new technology) went as far to say that consumers are willing to pay even more to gain access to this technology. To be more specific he stated that the consumer would be ready to pay 50% more. Although the technology is good, these guys do not realize that you will NEVER be able to stop the bootleggers. - 16651

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